Darcy thought her young son might
never learn to float. For a month she watched him
straining in the pool with his swim instructor. It
seemed so unnatural to tilt the head right back. (Do you
remember that scary feeling?) Then, in a moment of total
surrender, he got it. No kicking, splashing, or
flailing. No jerking the head to look around. The water
could only support him when he yielded to it
entirely.
Most
of us flail-not in swimming pools but in life.
When
our health fails, we kick. When our kids rebel, we swim
harder. When we interview for a new job, we splash all
over the place. It's so hard, it seems, to tilt the head
right back and simply look to the sky. Instead, we worry
about what's ahead of us, behind us, and around us. We
grow tense, like the child first learning to float,
working harder than we need to, and growing
exhausted.
We
say that we trust the Father but we don't actually keep
our eyes on Him.
We
pause briefly, holding on to the side of the pool for
some instruction and advice-perhaps briefly each morning
or just each Sunday-but back out in the deep water we
revive our old, bad habits, afraid to surrender
entirely. We feel certain that survival in the hostile
environment of life depends on our own strength. Will we
make it?
Nothing
scares us more, initially, than complete surrender to
the Father's love. We vainly believe that we know what
is best for our deepest happiness-a healing, a better
paycheck, a marriage partner, a larger home. What if the
Father doesn't come through? What if our greatest
happiness is not His highest priority? St. Ignatius of
Loyola described such doubts as sin and those doubts
turn us into flailers, not
floaters.
This
Lenten season focuses our attention on the cross of
Christ and bids us nail our flail to the cross-beams.
The apostle Paul eventually learned that to "die daily"
(1 Cor 15.31) or to be "crucified with Christ" (Gal
2.20) meant to cease straining in his own strength and
find life-resurrection life-in the Father, not
himself.
Life
is not about forging our own path to success or
significance. Instead, it's learning to float all over
again "in the river of God's providential love." May we
be better learners (disciples) this
week.
In
HOPE -