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“There
is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear."
~ 1 John 4:18
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Fear &
Shame
“There’s
no doubt about it,” he said.
Dr.
Ken Wadum works with Christian leaders around the United States and the
world—counseling and teaching. I asked him—based on his many years of
experience and observation as a clinical psychologist—what are the most
common issues that afflict us? He barely paused in his response: fear
and shame.
Often
we fear failure, fear loss of approval, fear isolation, fear confrontation,
fear being “caught,” fear everything imaginable. And then when we fall
or fail we carry shame deeply within ourselves. If we could conquer
fear and shame, we’d rise from much of the mire in which we find
ourselves.
The
challenge for many of us is that the journey from the head to the
heart—from what we know to what we can feel—must pass
through our frailty and woundedness. In that short distance between the
head and the heart lies our brokenness. And it stymies our wholeness.
The
process of healing requires either shrinking our woundedness or poking
holes in it, so that the truth can dart through and perhaps pierce our
hearts. Unless we identify the fear and shame, it may victimize us for
a lifetime. Fear and shame become the wrist and leg irons of our lives.
None
of this changes easily or quickly unless the Holy Spirit sovereignly
smashes the strongholds.
For
most of us it’s a gradual process of the truth setting us free; the
truth that we are so deeply loved by the Father and so utterly secure
in His love that we have nothing to fear; the truth that the Father’s
forgiveness is so complete, so whole, and so eternal, that shame cannot
stick.
Fear
and shame, so often used among us and by us to coerce people into
conformity, are too easily manipulated by the devil to destroy us. Yes,
repentance surely springs from some degree of shame and regret. And the
“fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” But when our fear and
shame wound us rather than motivate us to change, they are the tools of
the devil.
Perhaps
some of us need to pause right now and denounce the power we have
inadvertently given to fear and shame in our lives. The Father’s
perfect love casts out all fear. The Father’s grace surpasses our
disgrace. Let’s choose to live in that love and grace.
In
HOPE –
David
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